#25) Ever since I started watching ponies, I have begun to notice just how utterly HUGE equine penises are. You may not think that is relevant in any way, but it has begun to make me jealous, almost to the point that I cannot watch MLP: FiM any more. God felt it fit to give me a small penis, but he gives damn horses, mere animals, huge wangs. Do you have any advice for me not to feel this way? And why?

<sub>Answer: What have these 'Brony Advice' entries become: breeding grounds for dick-jokes and smut? Bah!

Being jealous of a horse in general is silly: what you lack in penis size you make up for in potential. A horse is just a horse: they stand around in fields eating and shitting, and, while they can do a lot of very clever things, they aren't ever going to be politicians or scientists. Totally, though, I can see why you would be envious of their triumphant girth and length, but remember that humans are built differently to horses: I imagine that you could cause some real damage if you were the same size as a horse downstairs.

In terms of your concern preventing you from watching "Friendship is Magic", despite the fact that this question clearly isn't serious, I'm going to provide 'rational' feedback as I normally would. There aren't many stallions in the show, and so at least you only have to be jealous during the occasional scene where Big Macintosh shows up, right? Also, 'watching ponies' wouldn't in any way give you an understanding of horse genitalia: you've clearly been looking up images on Google, brony.

Or, perhaps you grew up on a farm? As for advice to stop feeling this way, there is none: you've got an image stuck in your head now, and the only way to get the image out of your head is to get a new brain...or head. I suppose you could stop watching ponies, or make a special effort to stop having those thoughts, but, honestly, we both know that you're taking the piss here, and I'm only answering this because I'm obliged to answer the majority of what gets sent my way. Unless you are being serious, in which case I recommend enhancement surgery.

Getting the question out of your system was fun for you, I'm sure, and I chuckled when I received it. I advise you to spend more time around human beings, so that you spend less time concerning yourself with animal 'wangs'. Despite being anonymous, you have, at least, admitted that you have a small penis, which will surely do you many favours. Don't worry too much about how 'God' made you or horses: whatever skills, both physical and mental, that you were born with, you will be able to apply them to something productive. Horses can only apply their genital-superiority to something reproductive, which doesn't even come into question when we're concerning ourselves with "Friendship is Magic". Away with you!</sub>


#26) Do [bronies] like the show for its stellar animation, cutting-edge voice work and cleverly written characters, or is it something entirely different? I can point to the dark side of the fandom, these so called "clop artists" or more bluntly, porn drawers and see where they are coming from. Sure, you can just call them people who don't go out much but you have to wonder in all the scenes in each episode, there's always one that has a pony's ass front and centre. (?! - Editor's Comment) That's where the "plot" jokes started and I assume it's just a joke gone wrong but it's just something, among other theories on my mind. I feel like the camera angles send suggestive messages that are very subliminal to older viewers who may be watching the show with their sister or the neighbour's kids he or she has to babysit. To me it just seems very subconscious and in the back of your head. What do you think?

<sub>Answer: I think that you need to learn how to be more concise when asking questions, given that I heavily edited your question and it's still enormously convoluted. Anyway, I'll do my best to engage with what you've written, although, clearly, you have a lot on your mind. In answer to the first question, briefly, I'd say yes: a lot of people do love the show for its animation and characters and so on. That's why I watch the show and, undoubtedly, it's why plenty of others enjoy "Friendship is Magic" as well.

Now, for the second 'part', which runs on for far too long, you appear to be asking if I believe that the show is sending subliminal messages to an audience. If that is the case, then I'm afraid that, when watching "Friendship is Magic", I didn't pick up anything remotely sexual in the 'camera angles' employed by the animators and artists. If you watch anything, there will undoubtedly be shots of characters from behind; it just so happens that ponies don't generally wear clothes, and so you're seeing what is effectively a 'naked' character with a clear lack of anatomical correctness.

That just fits the show and its characters, though. It'd be really weird for the artists to throw in subliminal sexual messages into a show designed for little girls, don't you think? I believe that the problem here from your angle is one of two things: either that the excessive sexual artwork that you've seen has made it impossible for you not to imagine it now, or that you're imagining things by your own accord that you shouldn't be. Why on Earth would they be putting subliminal messages into the show that babysitters looking after kids would see?

"Woah!" says the babysitter. "Look at the ass on that pony!"

It doesn't happen – most people wouldn't even consider it for more than a fleeting second unless they were interested in the sexualisation of ponies in the first place. I don't know how many times I have to say that "Friendship is Magic" is a show designed for minors, but I suppose once more doesn't hurt: My Little Pony isn't throwing sex-jokes and subliminal messages into its episodes. If you see a pony from a certain angle and get aroused by it, that's your mind causing it, not a deliberate act on the part of the show-makers.

Generally, you should be watching the show to appreciate its music and its visuals, and its cute characters and so on. Notice how I use 'cute'? That isn't 'hot': you should see these characters as adorable things, as you would a little woodland critter, not as sexual objects. If you can't see the show for what it is, and instead wish to suggest that the show-makers are trying to make people aroused, then I can't really sympathise.

When a pony is being drawn/animated with a shot showing between the hind legs, I'm not going to lie and say that the show-makers wouldn't have been consciously aware that there would naturally be genitals there: of course they would know that and acknowledge it. However, kids wouldn't be thinking about that kind of thing, and no effort would be made to encourage an audience to that conclusion, either. You're approaching these camera angles with an adult mind, and so you can make all sorts of assumptions; however, for all intents and purposes, there's no subliminal messaging, and, in this case, you're just imagining what you want to imagine - or, what you've been forced to imagine due to content you may have seen - rather than what is actually there.</sub>


#27) I know you're probably getting tired of hearing this, but what is the exact reason why some bronies like yourself* see little point to the existence of a character like Luna while others like myself see un-utilised potential for story possibilities in regards to her background, personality, and status?

<sub>Answer: If you'll excuse me, I need to go and vomit quickly: so many words have just been put into my mouth that I feel the need to gag. Back in a sec.





Okay, back. I 'see little point to the existence of a character like Luna'? It's true, I can't deny it: I despise Luna and everything that she stands for! Her mane is so stupid, y'know? And what's with that whole 'I'm-Nightmare-Moon-oh-wait-no-I'm-not' thing? Yeah, Luna sucks. Down with alicorns etc.!

In all seriousness, I have nothing against Luna – why would I? If this is about something I may have said in the past regarding her character, then I'll clarify a few things. Luna appears in a handful of episodes in very minor roles, bar "Luna Eclipsed", where she naturally gets some hefty screen-time. However, when I wrote something in the past regarding people overreacting about Luna's character, it was before Season 2 had aired, when she had literally had only a few seconds of screen-time. Hearing people say that Luna was their favourite character from Season 1 seemed pretty ridiculous to me, but whatever, 'eh?

Now that Season 2 has aired, I can sympathise a little more with people saying that Luna is their favourite character, although I don't in any way agree with the assertion. While it's fair to say that you like her design more than any other pony, if we're going purely on what we see in the show to mediate the decision, then something must be really wrong with the other characters for Luna to beat them having only had 30 minutes of screen-time, if that.

Obviously the fandom has its own perception on Luna, and that's fair enough: I'm not going to stop people from liking whatever pony they like. I think that people are obsessive about Luna without much in the show to warrant the obsession, sure, but you can just as easily object to that, and I am aware that the fandom has already created some interesting ideas to expand her character. I have no interest in Luna myself, but I wouldn't at all say that she's pointless or whatever else you've quoted me as saying: overrated, arguably, but never lacking a point.

For sure, there is a lot of potential in using her for stories and art and so on, and I'd never say that exploring those avenues and adding qualities to her character and so on are bad things. Creativity is a good thing, within reason, and characters who don't have much going for them in the show are perfect vessels to be expanded upon by the fan community. It doesn't interest me, but, as I say, why should that matter? Go and do whatever you want with Luna; as long as she doesn't end up with a ball-gag in her mouth, I'm happy as a sand-boy.

*'Bronies like [myself]'? I feel strangely de-individualised!</sub>